Transatlanticism

His name is Chelestiar Kong, and he’s never had a girlfriend.

At first I thought, okay, poor child, his parents really did him over with that name. Plus, I honestly don’t think anyone who’s not had relationship experience is in any way qualified to write an instructional love manual.

Then I carried on reading, and I find much to my horror that HE GAVE HIMSELF THAT NAME.

I choked on my drink and spent the next few moments hacking out water from my lungs.

And why did he pick this amazing name? He tells us obligingly: “An English name is just easier for people to remember. I support Chelsea and I like the sound of Balestier so I combined the two words and got Chelestiar. I thought that name would be nice.”

*long, ominous silence*

No wonder he’s never had a girlfriend.

He also insists that although girlfriend-less he is nonetheless qualified to write a love manual, because - “I have a 1000-plus-page medical textbook written by two authors. I don’t think they have seen all the diseases they have written about.”

I’m finding it hard to breathe.

Chelestiar is the one on the left, with the stethoscope.

Photo from The*Sunday*Times, May 14, 2006. Taken by Wang*Hui*Fen.

http://jadeite.ketsugi.com/2006/05/15/livershan/ 

i support chelsea too and i stay in hougang. hi, my name is chelsgang